Someone might remember that I teased this concept / theme / exciting news several posts ago, or maybe not, who knows but my first movie into this nun project is some kind of mixture of carbonated horse pis - wait - no. “Tell me about your butthole,” says the psychologist, whispering, eyeing you. No that’s …
The other day I was watching The Hand That Rocks the Cradle for the first time in 30 years, admiring a young Rebecca DeMornay, when this fairly unattractive child appeared on the screen. Looking familiar, I looked her up to see if she had ever done anything else and, sure enough - she was the …
Happy New Year! Whee! Here’s to only great movies with excellent lighting!! Good riddance to bad rubbish like me old grandma used to say. Good things and good times! Whoo! Heres an excerpt from a conversation I had recently: “I watched VHS 85 last weekend.”“Was it any good?”“No. No not at all.”“Why did you watch …
Bitch Slap. That movie that came out on DVD back when you had to upconvert DVDs to HD. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?! The barbarity. The movie that came out when you had to rent DVDs. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?? A lost time. Do you remember when they started using screens again and just photo-ing the …
Continue reading bitch slap (2009): green screens, decolletage and kevin sorbo’s head
Dear Knives Out, I barely remember you but I do remember you having bad breath. Something about an old rich white dude living in and old rich white dude house with a young hot Hispanic ‘caretaker’, right? I mean smoking hot. A bunch of rich white kids and grandkids too, right? Tony Curtis’ kid. That …
Continue reading to all the old knives out, the pearl onion has wounded the fawn
I don’t think it’s a lie to say that I’ve set the bar pretty low for movie writin’ about, for point making or even for the use of punctuation, but this is my place so I can say what I wanno and have a beer and a cigar and get distracted and go play with …
Well - woah. Aside from my writing, it's hard to imagine how bad something can come to be - especially this movie. I don't really even know how to start this piece so let's try and piece this puzzle together, shall we? This awful thing takes place in and around a bar and hotel in …
Continue reading (the) howling (7): new moon rising (mystery woman) (1995)
While I normally spend a few days writing, spellchecking and adding commas to my shitty intros to my crappy posts, I HAVE to get this out of the way now, before I forget I found it or before I forget where I was going with my brains. Here: OK - that's over with. Now I …
OOOF. Yikes. Arf. Bloop blort plop. This one was tough to get through. A real stinker you might say if you were old like me. Shite. Bollocks. Bag of puke. Douchebag. Anus McManus. The Rectum. A very poorly executed piece of work. A poor decision to make this one. Do you remember in the early …
When I embarked on this great adventure, I really thought I'd seen this thing. In '88 I still lived with my mom and while I did have my own room I slept out on the couch where I could watch TV all night because those were the days and the one I had in my …
eric undead 