Have you ever made a student film? Have you ever made a student film about the making of a student film? Have you ever been to North Carolina? Have you ever randomly played peek a boo and hide and seek at a run down building in the middle of a travel scene? Have you ever camped and / or made sex in the woods and risked getting ticks and poison ivy where you pee from? Have you ever used a ouija in the night at a campfire and tried to summon Lucifer? Have you ever gone crazy for some fairly unknown reason and murdered everyone around you? Have you ever used the term ‘cinema verite’ 40 or 50 times in a 90 minute movie? If the answer to any or all of these questions is yes then this movie may be just the one for you. If not you might steer clear, like you should when faced with an area potentially full of poison oak, jumping spiders and people hiding in trees that want to kill you.

This thing shifts almost constantly between a handheld or shoulder cam and some static jobs set up here and there and with that, so do the editing filters and so did my attention. I really am trying to be nice and positive as often as I can and I think this thing has some good times if not just good intentions but two of the dudes in here have the worst line delivery I’ve ever heard. In that movie I shit on myself about never making, I once filmed our man saying “I was just about to nut” over the supposed corpse of a dead body and I thought that was bad but these guys seem worse. Woof. But well you know I always like to pat things like this on the butt for encouragement because it looked like they had fun and maybe learned some things and hopefully avoided genital ticks and maybe they even made some money and can put this on their resumes and get better higher paying jobs and reach for the stars you can do it you can do it you can fucking do it but I’m not sure if any of the folks that read this place will love it the most. Maybe one day I’ll find that jump drive of all the things we did and can post them out here for a critique of my own.

So these two guys are filming each other talking about filming other people who are talking about wanting to film a movie. They are at a party and a very very very brief brainstorming session leads their brains to a camp site called the devils stomping ground where nothing grows and they can go make their film there. Whoop! “I’ll direct.” says one guy using facial and dialogue inflections he learned – never-mind that I don’t want to just make fun there. “I’ll write the script,” says someone else. “I’ll do the makeup” etc etc etc and they all have an explicit orgy full of sodomy and debauching. “Ouch my weenus” says someone at some point.

Soon enough the twelve or so of them have packed up and wheeled out and head to the woods or park or whatever and get to shooting their movie snd the movie about the movie. They use glitchy scratchies and blurby blurbs when we see the footage to – I guess – show us that things aren’t right there at the place but I’ve never really understood this method – is it to say the devil and his buddies are messing with the video or there’s something wrong with the earth’s magnetism and it’s fucking with the footage? But zip zip scratch scratch blip blip blop things aren’t going great and then someone’s killed.

I can’t find many pictures of this thing for my post but here’s something below and I don’t know what it is but I love it:

So – college kids, bad acting, the devil maybe and mass murder. Sound good? Sound profitable? Sound sexy? Sound like it will get your cabbage boiling? Your turnips tossing? Your brussels sprouting? Maybe! The best part had to be when the one lady summons the devil through her ouija and he hops out of the woods and his tail is all waving around behind him and it’s all awkward and he’s all “heeeeeyy” in a real soft voice and he’s got a book under one arm and an almost empty roll of toilet paper in his stinking armpit and they realize he’s been taking a shit and the cast member who is supposed to be in seminary school is all “what in the holy name of saint peter?!” and the silence gets weird and they linger for a few minutes looking around and then they do a musical number where they devil is dancing around the campfire and the song playing is “New York Groove” by Ace Frehley and by the end of it everyone is dancing and grooving and there’s a limbo set up and the lighting guy gets under a ten inch bar somehow and everyone’s really rocking and laughing and being happy and touching other people’s privates on purpose and drinking cordials and one guy is peeing in the fire like his dong is a helicopter and they’re all just having the time of their lives and then in a huge pulsing and splurting climax they all murder each other ooops spoilers sorry.

The good? I liked the actress who played Willow and I liked the concept and it looks like they had fun but maybe coulda needed some polish or a spit shine. And that’s Paw-lish like back in the old days when men used to get their shoes waxed and rubbed not Pole-ish although maybe this could have add some Poles. Didn’t those folks make the Nobody Sleeps in the Woods movies? I thought those two fuckers were great! I wonder what all of them are up to.

FILED UNDER: THIS PROBABLY ISN’T THE BEST MOVIE YOU’LL EVER SEE BUT THIS LOOKS LIKE THEY HAD FUN MAKING IT AND RESEMBLES SOMETHING MY FRIENDS AND I COULD HAVE DONE BACK WHEN I HAD THE TIME AND THE DRIVE AND THE ENERGY AND MAYBE SOME MONEY AND I DON’T KNOW IT’S ALL RIGHT EXCEPT THE END WAS JUST KIND OF YEAH YEAH YEAH OK OK