When I first started this place my friend and I thought it would be a good idea to recreate a colossal fail we tried years ago on my previous site: a podcast. We recorded it one night and no one smoked anything or drank any beer and we decided to call it I GOT HIGH AND BURNED MY WEENIE and you can listen to it HERE if you want to harm yourself but the point of that is that this post has nothing to do with those events and that the movie title for this thing really has nothing to do with my blog or weenies. The reasoning behind the podcast title has to do with someone putting meats on the grill outside and then noneveruhuh smoking grass and doing a podcast and forgetting things while the movie has to do with the descendants of men who took land rightfully owned by a coven of witches (I think) or owned by the earth and then had ownership proclaimed upon it by men who burned and drowned the people who came before them and those particular people – the ones they didn’t murder – are still there and they’ve never forgot. Or at least that’s how I interpreted it. Yes that’s it I think.

I never know when I’ll actually finish writing something and post it because I’m such a slow ass and I watched this right at the end of December and maybe we’ll all resolve to celebrate movies in 2024 because of the hard work and effort it takes to actually get something made and distributed and while I kind of liked this one I think it might be seen as – um – uneventful – because not much happens really so I don’t know if it will be celebrated with some sort of wild orgy or anything but I thought it was pretty decent. It is probably my incorrect and wrong impression but this doesn’t seem like this one is where one day during production everyone got up and after breakfast someone said “let’s go have fun today!!” but I’m probably wrong there and anyway yay for everyone but it seems like this could have I don’t know maybe given us a little more , um, er… maybe it could have been a little more beefy or something?

For example:

There’s this part where the lead guy is going through his dad’s old notebooks and they’ve
obviously put a lot of thought into this because the pages of the book
have writing on them that is written in odd angles or indentions
and I was thinking about how I just finished up my own
notebook and how it was great timing because
now we’re starting a new year and that
was almost as good as finishing
a stick of deodorant on a
Sunday and starting
a new one on a
Monday
and

How
maybe in my new
book I got for myself
for 2024, I should do some
pages like this but then maybe if
something happened to me and someone
decided to read through this particular one they’d
be all maybe this guy really had something going on up
there or something and also my OCD would be like what the fuck
is with all of this empty space for Christ’s sake but anyway i thought it was
well thought out and wondered if we’d see anything come of it later and we really
almost did when our guy was really putting some shit together and we were almost there and–

He’s out in the barn and he’s ripped all of these pages out of the book and he has them spread out all over the floor and we could have used maybe an overhead shot to see what these pages had designed when they’re all pieced together instead of a behind the back shot but nothing really happened there and i wonder if they ran out of time or didn’t have permission to bolt anything to the rafters of the barn or maybe it just didn’t work out or something and womp womp womp for me and my troubles.

PS my creative writing up there looks a lot more correct on a monitor and not my phone screen. Agh barf cry.

Or there’s this one part where the girl above is smiling and she looks so pretty and happy but then I guess she gets influenced by maybe some witches or maybe she finds out who she wants to be or maybe she winds up dead in a ditch or maybe she ascends to a different better plane but I won’t spoil anything but I wish I knew more about how her character ended up because I don’t like what I saw regarding her character that wasn’t really it, right? Right? Come on! And I don’t mean like Gob in Arrested Development screaming COME ON about his thousand dollar pants but like hey come on there’s more to it than that right? Like the other week when my friend that sits next to me at work told me Tool was going to do a show here and I said “here?” and he responded back with “no not here at ___________ (where we work)” and I was all “ok come on now I don’t need any fucking back talk” and then I told him he was a real penistucky because I mangle speaking all the time but now that’s stuck and I crack myself up.

All of this talking about these witches and memories made me think about how a year or two ago I did a themed month here on the site about witch movies and I remember i introduced a character that i wanted to use out here in some of my writings and called him Shitboy but i never really did but since we’re talking about witches and memories and shit here’s to you Shitboy!! Let’s swing from the rafters and drink to the dead! Didn’t i say something about barn rafters earlier in this piece? I did. Look at us, we’ve come full circle in some sort of weird way. Or is my past coming back to haunt me?

But I don’t want to go negative here because I think this thing was good just not too much really happened and the location – a farm near a beach – with such a small cast – and nothing ever really going on reminded me of something from my childhood like when I had to go stay with my dad’s family in small towns and they might have had a TV but that was only for news watchin’ so my options were to sit in a chair and look out the window or if it was nice to go sit on the porch and read or if it was in the even smaller towns go out and walk around on the farm. So boring sure but good memories i guess and that’s when you learn never to fuck with rattlesnakes or stick your hand in a gopher hole but hey we made it and here we are look at us still alive after all the shit we’ve done.

FILED UNDER: UNEVENTFUL IS PROBABLY THE BEST WAY I COULD DESCRIBE THIS BUT REALLY NOT BAD AND—-> PENISTUCKY