Just look at that terrible poster and that’s not even one I did myself. Well, I did the landscape one for my WordPress theme but not the blue and white one above. Is that hallway supposed to be a guy’s mouth? No offense to anyone really but that looks pretty uh um not my favorite. I bet I couldn’t do any better though. Well maybe I could! I wonder what kind of tools they had at their fingertips? Maybe I’ll try something here. Well I couldn’t even find a decent image for this thing while I was standing in line waiting for my roast beef sandwich so I’ll try and remember to figure something out later.

This uninteresting movie comes to us today via: I was talking to someone once somewhere about something and somehow Jason Patric came up. “Did you like The Lost Boys!” “Sure I did who didn’t?” “Did you like Narc?” “I really did, I thought it was very good!” “Did you like Speed 2?” “Honestly I don’t think I ever seen it. Dennis Hopper is on a boat right?” “You’ve never seen it?” “No I never really wanted to.” “Do you want to watch it?” “I have to wash my hair that night.” “What?” “Yeah. Have you ever seen After Dark My Sweet? It’s one of my favorite movies.” “What?” “That’s right.” “No, I” “Well anyway.” “Yeah but” “How about In the Valley of Elah? I liked that movie.” “No I don’t think” “Well there then” So one day I was wondering what Patric had been up to and found this on Amazon and queued it up and forgot about it for months and then I ran across it again and wondered what this shit was and who put it in My Stuff and pressed play anyway well yeah ok .

I couldn’t get the text to work right on my phone there, so abandon that idea. Hahahaha shit I’m so funny.

I wanted to check in on Collie after all these years and we find him in an old hotel working security and confined to a wheelchair. He’s kind of pissy to the new girl but if you go by the dialogue alone he’s just there to do his fucking job and she ain’t worth shit. The new girl is cute and strong and trying to do this job to prove she can handle the responsibility of taking care of a child and they have to learn to work together for crying out loud Jesus and can they just make it through the night? The old building is some sort of mammoth hotel thing that looks like it was built in the heyday of the US 30s and it’s barely lit and lights flicker and there’s a sealed off tunnel down in basement that leads to dum dum dum ta dum an old insane asylum for unwanted kids that were dum dum dum dummity dum abandoned and left for dead.

Or are the two of them the ones that were abandoned there? Or is it the building that was abandoned? Or was it the old guy that was abandoned and left out in the rain like some piece of shit?

Enough of that poster business I guess but – even such as that as it was or is or whatever there were still some decent things that maybe we could call the Eric Undead’s Moments of Merit^TM or maybe not because that might be Eric Undead’s MoM and I don’t know about that now that I think about it – but there were some decent things. There’s this one part where Patric is down in the big auditorium or ballroom or whatever it might be called and it’s dark and she sees something through his video camera that was cool i guess. I swear when I was watching this I was thinking there was something else but now it escapes me. Maybe that was it, just the one thing.

Oh yeah! I think it was maybe or probably what was underlying with the actual screenplay someone wrote. I think there was a good idea in there that a bunch of people probably read and then got some of their friends together and thought that would make a good movie and man how about we use that old hotel over there that we can sweep up and I know Jason Patric the guy from Lost Boys and I don’t know what he’s up to but he might be interested you see how we twist some things up there at the end and he likes this kind of thing I think and there’s this actress in my son’s apartment complex next door and she’s real good lookin and hey let’s all get together at my family’s cabin up in Big Bear and talk about this over some pricey wine and cheese and all that sounds good and then the guy who was going to really front the most of the money wanted it to go this way you know to make it more appealing and really bring to light to systematic abuse and that’s not in the script this is really about one person’s – hey who’s writing the checks here and OK OK OK you’re the boss let’s make a movie cheers and huzzah how’s the pheasant under glass?

But hey – it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might turn out.

FILED UNDER: PROBABLY NOT A MOVIE WHERE YOU’RE GOING TO BE ALL MAN THIS IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE I’M GOING TO RENT ONE OF THOSE EXPENSIVE PROJECTORS AND SHOW THE THING ON THE BACK OF MY HOUSE AND INVITE THIRTY OF MY GOOD FRIENDS OVER FOR A MIDNIGHT WATCH AND HAVE LENGTHY DISCUSSIONS ABOUT IT WHERE AFTERWARDS A GROUP OF THEM WILL HEAD OFF INTO YOUR GUEST ROOM TO HAVE SOME SORT OF LOUD AND BUMPY ORGY ON YOUR NEW 3,000 THREAD COUNT EGYPTIAN SHEETS