“He knows who you are and He knows who you did.”

– inscription discovered etched in the plinth of an alabaster representation of Apu Punchau, year unknown.

Pious words or a warning for generations to come? Ominous foreboding of the Harbinger of Sorrow? Or are they the words of The One Who Looks Both Ways?

Oooorrrrrrrrrrrr was I sniffing too many varnish vapors from the cabinet the contractors built and installed last night? My money is on that last part but you never know around here right? Ding Dong Ding Dong! Ok let’s get back on track.

Pollyanna McIntosh, who you may remember from the dreadful THE WOMAN plays the lead in this. She’s a cop recently assigned to a new station where she spends the night there battling evil. And a couple of bloodthirsty maniacs. Here she is looking much more comely and cleaned. Not that there’s anything wrong with being unwashed or wearing an outfit from 1892, but she can clean up nice and look presentable. And – I’m no fashionista or anything like that but I wonder if she liked those bangs. HMM – that’s not my business I suppose.

On her way to the office on her first night, she runs into Davos and cuts off some more of his fingers before sending him on a epic quest to find something or other and protect the king’s illegitimate son . No, that’s not right. She runs him over and in a fit of fear of fucking up being a rookie and all, she dyes his beard black and then takes him to the jail for some questioning.

Oh wait – some kid runs into Davos with his car and then Davos’s body goes missing. That’s it! She takes the kid to jail to lock him up and then Davos shows up anyway! He’s a man of few words but he knows things about you. He knows who you are and he knows what you’ve done:

He also knows who you did and he knows who you ate. He knows who you touched and he knows where you pooped. The rest of the movie plays out over the course of the night with everyone basically going apeshit down in that jail. I really liked how everything kept escalating and the fight choreography was done well. Aside from these three handy pictures I’ve just published, it’s not super gory or anything and the dead people are just kind of alluded to in brief shots. But look how nice I am that I captured one for you here!

Isn’t that nice? I know what that is because I made the still; do you? Is it a Sleestak? Is it the lunch that’s been in the work fridge for too long? (Olive spread!) Since we’re talking about praying and shit is it the head of John the Baptist? Is it the internal sack they smuggled Pep Pep’s cigars in while they travelled from Indochina? Is it the remains of that watermelon you got at the farmer’s market at the end of that summer back in 90 when you went with that girl you had just met and it was kind of your favorite weekend there for a while because the night before you’d ran around on the golf course greens in the middle of the night when the sprinklers were going and made it a little bit as the sun rose? Or what about that time maybe it was your second semester of college and you took Tennis and there was a real pretty girl in there and she waved at you and you walked her to her dorm and you were all ‘you’re living here?’ and she was all ‘yeah I’m from {small town}’ and you were all [swoon] ‘I’m from {small town but not the same small town}’ and she asked if you wanted to go to garage sales with her and you were all [heart heart] and she bought you a Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here record and you were all [OMFG] and you asked her on a date and she said yes but you drove this shitty old truck so you borrowed your work friend’s Nissan or something and got cleaned up and went home and called her a few times to go pick her up and she never answered and you were all [cry cry] and you saw her at tennis the next day and she was all ‘I’m so sorry I was sick’ and you were all [you couldn’t answer the phone?] and you were walking near her to another class the next day and some other girl was all ‘how did you like {country bar where they served minors} the other night’ and you could see her face get caught in a big fat fucking lie you know how people’s eyes will get wide and their mouth make some sort of grimace and she turned to you to maybe offer some sort of bullshit but you just left and never talked to her again not to try and get back at her or something but because you were just really really hurt and maybe that’s your fucking feelings wrapped up in that bag up there in that fridge.

Thinking of that always reminds me of that line in the Tilda Swinton movie Orlando when she is playing a dude character and she gets betrayed and looks at the camera and says “the treachery of women” but even though I, I mean you have these lingering feelings of self doubt and being hurt, you’ve moved in because that was a long time ago.

Whatever has happened to you in the past I bet you’re doing great and even though we got really off track which happens super easy out here on this blog, this movie gets a —> Yep!

FILED UNDER: I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND WATCH IT ALL THE TIME AND BY ALL THE TIME I MEAN WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT AND FEEL LIKE WATCHING SOMETHING I LIKE

P.S. I was bored the other day and thought this might be a nice touch to add something else out here but now I’m not so sure – I think i’d have to asses the level of effort this would take to maintain and probably have to change those cell descriptions all the time because I’m like that but anyway for what it’s worth, here’s an idea i had because my “Filed Under’ indexing has gotten so out of control: